Dating in Phuket
I’m a fair man. When I only know one side of a story, I’ll admit it. So, for the record, this is just one side of at least a two sided story. Having said that, it’s my side and many men share a similar narrative, so it deserves to be told.
I’ve been in Thailand a number of years, and the rules of thumb that I’ve come by are many and varied. Some will save you a few Baht, some will get you out of a traffic ticket, and some will get you a job, but only a few will save you months or years of anguish. The handy rule of thumb below will do just that. However, as with any rule of thumb, it has its exceptions.
The most important yardstick when dating a girl here in Thailand is the girls age. It is the tectonic force that will shape the relationship dragging all the smaller feelings and tendencies along with it inexorably.
Dating girls who are aged 18 to 20 (and this is based only on fond memory) is a relationship of extremes. Moments of bliss and moments of terror. Everything you do is a momentous thing for the girl. For her this is a love that will last the ages; it’s true love and she will love you forever, or a moment later, hate you forever. This thing you are doing and feeling together is incredibly important and she must SMS you and all her friends about it constantly. Needless to say, it’s very hard to keep up this level of interest and feeling unless you’re also 18 or, I suppose, very drunk. I don’t recommend dating seriously if you suffer either impairment.
Girls between 20 and 25 have discovered the joy and variety of life. They broke up with their one true love, so everything after this can naturally only be a fling. You are a fling, a movie ticket, a fun time. They will tear out your heart, dance all over it, and leave the discotheque in the arms of another. Ouch!
After 25 and before 30, I have found to be the sweet spot. Girls in this age range have things to talk about, they’ve got a job and aren’t so worried about your money since they’ve got their own, and they’ve seen the world and know that you’re not the greatest thing out there but that you’re not the worst either. Mostly, they’re busy with work and friends too, so you’re just a part of their life and probably not the biggest part. That’s just perfect for most of us.
30 years is the big red line in the sand, the arch on which is written “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.” Woe to the single man that dates a woman approaching this age of ages. Whatever your intentions are, she intends you to be her husband and father of her children. Whatever state you’re in, however badly put together you are, skimpy legs dangling from a pale and broken torso, you’ll do. You’re there, you’re now, and she’s on a deadline! You’re the man she’s after. If you’re not looking to marry (and still definitely don’t want kids), then the relationship doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell.
After 35, you’ve cleared the marriage and baby zone, so you’re pretty safe dating women older than that. I don’t have much experience with women after 35 myself, so I can’t comment on what a relationship is like.
I have no doubt a similar timeline could be constructed for farang men on the island, probably going from cute and broke to handsome and broke, and a little later, once we hit the age of 28, to broke and broken down. Still, I’ll only speak of what I know from experience.